Grieving With Love not Regret

I used to think I had forever with them.

In one year, I lost my mother and my only brother. Two pillars of my life, gone.

I have always heard people say life is short, love your people, time waits for no one. I heard it, but I didn’t truly understand it. Grief has now made it real to me. Grief has forced me to stop and reflect.

I still remember lying on the bed with my mum, a day before she died. We talked for four hours about everything and nothing, then we both slept off. I wish we had 24 hours. I wish I stayed awake.

I remember my last call with my brother. I told him to rest because my phone battery was low. I did not know that would be our last talk.

Those were our last moments. Since then, grief has been shaping me. This is what it has taught me. This is how I am becoming me.

Life is not promised. Time is urgent

Time does not wait for anyone.

The hardest truth I have learned is this, I will also die one day. In ten, twenty or forty years, I will leave this earth too. This truth makes me sad, but it has opened my eyes.

So I am learning to live differently. Not with fear, but with love. To forgive fast. To love deeply. To take care of my loved ones while I can. To lie on the bed and talk for four hours when I have the chance, because one day, that moment will be someone’s last memory of me.

Help your loved ones to grieve you with love

On the day before she passed, my mother sent me fresh vegetables from her farm. That night, while we were talking, I slept off. When I woke up, she had covered me with a warm blanket because it was cold.

That was my mother. That was my brother too. They showed love in small, daily ways.

Because of that love, it is easier for me to grieve them. They put so much love in me that even now, when I think of them, I still feel their love. It still warms me like that blanket. I am not grieving with anger. I am grieving with love.

This is the best gift you can give your family. Live in such a way that when you are gone, you leave them with love, not pain. Help them grieve you with love by loving them well while you are here.

Love back those who truly love you. Grief is easier with love than with regret

On the day my mother left this world, she hugged me tight and said, “Thank you for taking care of me. If anyone has a daughter like you, that person will never suffer.” I am so glad I loved her back. Those words are still fresh in my heart. They are my blessing.

A week before my brother died, he called me for financial help and I helped him at once. I showed up.

So even though I miss them deeply, I do not grieve with regret. I grieve with love. Grief is easier with love than with regret.

If you love someone, show it now. Do not wait until you are standing at a grave wishing you had done more.

Keep a small circle of valuable people. Love the rest from a distance

My mother used to worry when people did not love her, when people looked down on her. The painful part is that this often comes from people you expect love from the most, but they don’t care. I always wondered why she worried, because I saw how genuinely others loved her.

Watching her taught me something. I have learned to love some people from a distance, to forgive them, and to keep strong boundaries. Focus on those who truly love you. Even after you are gone, those who never loved you still will not love you. So why break your heart over them now?

After the burial, I never heard from those who did not love her. But her loved ones stayed with me. They helped me grieve and showed me genuine love, just like they did to her. Even though she is gone, I still feel love from her loved ones.

That is proof that love remains. The love you give will come back to hold your children.

Live with purpose. Be the light

The night before she passed, my mother sent me a message. She said we are born to seek the truth and find our true self, and that I should find an enlightened person to help me find my real self.

She was telling me to live with purpose. Not just any purpose, because not all purposes have meaning.

My mother and I started an NGO called Happy World, to make the world a truly happy place. She is gone, but she left light inside me and I will not let that light go out. I will keep running this organization with love, compassion and empathy.

Before I leave this earth, I want to add more light to it. I want to send positive energy into dark places. I want to be the light. I want to be the positive energy the world needs.

I am no longer the woman who thought she had forever.

I am becoming me,  a woman who knows life is short, death is certain, and love is the only thing that remains. I grieve, but I grieve with love, not regret.

In loving memory of my Mother and my only Brother. Your love still covers me and your light still guides me.